i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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