McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
