Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
