we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
