I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
