Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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