He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I deserve this hangover.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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