So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize