if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
