Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
