sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
