My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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