Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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