i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
