It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
