If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
