people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
