I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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