Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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