i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
