two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
