Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
