So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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