the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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