I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
