return my video game
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize