Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
