whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
