i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
