The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
