My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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