i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
