If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize