Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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