hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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