drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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