We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I smell stomach acid.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
