She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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