But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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