oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
