her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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