Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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