He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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