I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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