Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize