It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
