i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
