I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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