Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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