i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize