Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
