i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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