It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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