Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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