There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
