idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
