so explain again why im purple
no
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
