I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
