I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
