Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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